The meaning of a socialite, in my opinion, signifies being a prominent woman in your city, admired by many. Socialites attend prestigious galas, are always securing personal invites to NYFW front-row seats, cultivate a reputation for dating influential individuals, and they most importantly gain global recognition for their accomplishments. In this blog post, let’s delve into the qualities that distinguish these individuals to help you embody the socialite status in your day-to-day life.

Listen to the audio version of the socialite series on the She Is So Bougie podcast.

Section 1: Socialite Versus Instagram Model.

It’s important to emphasize that a true socialite is not someone with social media clout. In this current generation, numerous socialites possess only a few thousand (or even hundreds) followers on their social media platforms but are widely recognized in their cities. While building a strong social media presence can contribute to the socialite title, it is not the sole determining factor. The socialites of the 90s gained fame without platforms like TikTok or Instagram, proving that social media is not a necessity. However, if utilized correctly, social media platforms can help your self-brand in gaining exposure and recognition.

Section 2: The Traits of a Socialite.

She Has a Unique Self-Brand.

Do you aspire to have the reputation of being the ultimate party girl spending your weekends at upscale clubs or do you want to be recognized as the fashionista who secures front-row seats at every fashion show? There's no definitive right or wrong answer considering each socialite embodies a distinct image that sets them apart from the crowd.

All socialites have a distinctive characteristic that sets them apart from the crowd. This could be displayed through their exceptional fashion sense, which is a common trait among socialites, or it could be showcased through their talent or captivating personality. Socialites, in a way, are true influencers. They don’t follow trends on Instagram, but they become genuine influencers themselves. With billions of people in the world, they make it a priority to understand what makes them different and leverage it to their advantage.

To illustrate this, let's speak on the fictional character of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, who perfectly embodies a typical NYC socialite of the 90s’. Despite her ongoing financial struggles, Carrie effortlessly mingled with the elite and frequented New York City's finest establishments. Known for her weekly column, out-of-the-box fashion sense, and enviable shoe collection, Carrie stood out due to her distinctive self-brand.

Pro Tip: Instagram can be useful for self-branding, but many socialites are intentional about their social media platforms. They don’t fall into the trap of becoming another Instagram model and are often the likes of older, well-established fashion and lifestyle influencers who are apart of a specific niche.

She Has Substance.

Beyond attractiveness, the majority of socialites possess much more than just their beauty. They understand that relying solely on their looks without any depth will not lead to long-lasting success. Even those who initially gained fame as socialites based on their looks eventually diversified their careers to maintain their reputations. And those who didn’t are just a lost memory.

Most socialites bring something valuable to the table. They may excel as art buyers, work in the fashion industry, or even establish their own businesses.

Let's take the example of Meghan Markle, who, before her involvement with the royal family, had built a name for herself through her philanthropy efforts, curating her own blog and establishing an acting career. Similarly, Heart Evangelista, known as the 'real-life' crazy rich Asian, began her journey with acting and later expanded her horizons through global luxury campaigns and her artistic pursuits. Their success stems from more than just their attractive appearances.

Ditch the misconception that socialites rise to fame solely based on their looks. Even socialites such as Paris Hilton have ventured into various business ventures, proving that she is more than the "dumb blonde" from The Simple Life. Socialites understand that having some sort of passion in their lives is an important conversation starter and adds value to their brand.

She Builds Connections With Intention.

Socialites social climb as if their life depends on it. While many socialites come from privileged backgrounds and have inherent advantages in befriending wealthy individuals, others don’t have such luxuries. For those socialites who don't have such lifestyles, social climbing becomes their key to success. It's often seen as shady, but personally, I believe there's no harm in it. The problem arises when people approach social climbing in the wrong way, leading to silly outcomes.

If a socialite aims to be viewed as high-class, she understands that dating a C-list rapper won't get her far. Instead, she focuses on effective social climbing, like befriending a trust fund baby who knows all the upscale spots in her city. By nurturing this connection, this friend may invite her to exclusive places and introduce her to her affluent circle of friends, opening doors for her in social-climbing endeavors. Socialites don’t use the person they befriend, they leverage their resources and connections to their advantage.

Anna Delvey, a notorious example of social climbing, managed to climb her way to the top by pretending to be a wealthy German heiress. She successfully portrayed herself as a socialite, clubbing with famous figures in Hollywood and attending high-profile events. While her story eventually took an extreme turn (resulting in legal consequences), it's important to highlight how knowing the right people can move you forward. When you exude the desired image and behavior, people will believe in your persona. Socialites actively seek out opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals who are ambitious and driven.

She Understands the Importance of Location.

The events that socialites attend align with her self-branding goals. A socialite who aspires to be known as a fashionista knows that attending New York Fashion Week is crucial. She understands that from a visibility perspective, the streets of the city are overflowing with street-style photographers during this time, and even if she’s not officially invited to a show, a photographer might capture her outfit, potentially propelling her to overnight fame. Similarly, a socialite who aims to be an artist may make an effort to attend as many art exhibitions in her city as possible and engage in networking. With this being said, socialites are always out and about!

The internet is filled with social calendars showcasing events held throughout the year in various states. Even if a socialite can't afford to attend, for instance, the Met Gala, she still books a plane ticket to be in New York City on the days of the event. This increases her chances of crossing paths and connecting with attendees. However, a true socialite is subtle and avoids appearing overly opportunistic in such situations. Instead, she focuses on being present, engaging in meaningful conversations, and allowing natural connections to unfold.

Her Style and Appearance is A1.

The socialite knows that the smallest slip-up in her personal style can impact how others perceive her. She ensures that she’s well-groomed and put together at all times by investing in beauty treatments or grooming routines to better help maintain her desired appearance.

It's important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to the socialite’s look. Each socialite embraces their own unique aesthetic to stand out from the crowd. Whether they choose a glamorous look or opt for an alternative style, what matters most is that they are true to themselves and confident in their personal expression. Socialites embraces their individuality and use it as a means to differentiate themselves within the socialite world.

In Conclusion…

I’m super excited to kick off the socialite series, as this is a topic that has been frequently requested by many of you. In this post, I emphasize the importance of the true definition of a socialite and how having this status goes beyond the realm of social media clout. By focusing on building meaningful connections, leaving a lasting impact on your city, and curating your personal brand, you can establish yourself as a respected figure within the socialite circle. Continue reading this series by checking out part #2 where we discuss curating your self-brand!